Anna & Matt's Winter Glam Wedding

Hello Gorgeous!

So many couples begin their planning journey thinking that there are only two options for seating at the reception; either 100% casual and open or 100% formal and stuffy. This is just simply not true and I want to take a bit to go through the options and a few considerations on this topic! To discuss even further the specificities of your event, talk with your Certified Wedding Planner and they will help you see all of the logistical options for your big day.

The first option, and one that is super common in our market, is to host what is called a ‘Cocktail Reception.’ Don’t get stumped on this term though, a Cocktail Reception still has food, and plenty of it! The food is just served in hors d’oeuvre or appetizer style. Let me explain. Instead of a chicken breast (that you would need a fork and knife to eat), you would serve chicken on a stick, in a slider, or even in smaller cut pieces. Any of these options would allow you to nix the knife and, therefore, the number of seats you would need.

Less tables and chairs also means less floral arrangements, less place settings, less everything! This can be a huge cost saver! With this kind of reception style, most couples choose to have more of the highboy bistro tables so that people can organically congregate there while they mingle and enjoy each other. This is perfectly acceptable! Talk to your Certified Wedding Planner about the suggested amount of seating for your situation!

Alternatively, if you choose a menu that is a full dinner (buffet and plated meals both count) and/or requires a guest to use a knife to eat any of the dishes, then you will need to offer reception seating for all of your guests. Personally, I love a full-seated reception! I think there is a true elegance with it, and I also LOVE gorgeous reception stationery. Full seating does allow for and sometimes require more reception stationery, so I am for it! Since every guest has a seat, you will need to talk with your Certified Wedding Planner about the flow of the reception and allow for some specified time for the guests to enjoy the meal itself.

Some people push back on this concept, but I urge you to consider this: you likely spent time and a considerable amount of funds picking out your meal, so it is nice to watch your guests enjoy the fruits of your labor! Also, you can break up this ‘meal time’ during the reception with a few of the other formalities. Think about taking time in between courses for first dances, toasts, or even cake cutting! That way, after the meal, it is party time!

If you choose to have seating for 100% of your guests, the CWPs at Infinity Events highly recommend assigning tables to each of your guests. Some think this to be a little stuffy, but truly you ARE helping your guests by letting them know what to do next at an event that has quite a bit of structure to it. Many times, when you as the host choose not to tell the guests what’s next, there is a bottleneck in the event. What I mean by this is that their stall in decision-making tends to make each formality take longer and feel disjointed. By guiding your guests to their next intended place, you are doing them a service in the long run. There are two ways to assign seating for your guests. The first type is an escort card; Escort cards escort your guests to their seats. The second type is a place card; place cards show a guest which place is theirs.

Don’t worry!

I know this can sound pretty daunting, but your Certified Wedding Planner can help you make it simple! We can help you determine which is right for your party and the level of formality that you desire. For example, if you want a more casual atmosphere AND 100% seating, you can choose the escort card option in the form of signage. There is always a way to help your guests AND keep the event a reflection of you two as a couple!

The moral of this whole story is that though there is etiquette and the flow of people to consider, at the end of the day, it is your event. Your wedding! It should be a reflection of who YOU are and be something you look back on for years to come with pride. Seating choices are ultimately up to you, and we as Certified Wedding Planners support you in those decisions! I encourage each couple to talk through all of the options and understand the ‘why’ for each so that you are confident in the choices you make.